cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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