I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
