Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
