Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
