Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When are your genitals available?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
