I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
