do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
