why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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