In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
