he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
