Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
