Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
