I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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