is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This house was built for laser tag.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
