smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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