we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
