His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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