So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
