Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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