I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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