How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
