So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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