yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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