she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
