btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
