Dual....:-)
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
