We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
