she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
