I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
