True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
