I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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