She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
