Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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