God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
These tits shall not be calmed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
