she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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