Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
