In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize