So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
