what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
