I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
