I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
