He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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