she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
