Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
