I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
