I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
