cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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