I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
