i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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