just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
