im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
