my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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